We all have had that someone who we want to look good for, that someone who makes our hearts skip a beat one in a while and we suddenly become nervous when that person is around. In my case I'd get so nervous, I wouldn't want him to see me. Ask me why? I don't even know the proper answer for that yet. I guess that's the kind of stupid things we do when we are "in love".
You see, I had a crush once, and even though it sounds like it was centuries ago, it wasn't. I was completely mesmerized with this guy, we could say he had the whole pack. He played on the basketball team, he had a charming smile, beautiful green eyes, but trust me, nothing and no one can be that perfect. There's always something, and I was right. He had one little defect. He was a major flirt and he liked girls a little too much.
I didn't care though, I had the tiny hope he would laid his eyes on me.
Turns out he did. He literally laid his beautiful green eyes on me. Sadly, it wasn't for the reason I was expecting to be. He was actually helping his best-friend, his best-friend liked me, not him. He'd stare at me, making me believe things that weren't true, only to see if I watched his friend. When I found out the truth and realized that I might liked his friend, it was too late. His friend moved to Brazil.
As far as I know, crushes suck sometimes. At least, for me, it did and it still does. Sometimes it might feel and seem like the entire universe is against you. Guys you don't like, like you and guys you really, really like will see you whereas as a friend or even worse, as a V. I. P. member of his fan club.
Oxford Dictionary has defined the word crush as this: a brief but intense infatuation for someone, especially someone unattainable.
I agree with this, it's really brief, sometimes it doesn't even last more than a few days. And sometimes it lasts two years, just like it happened to me. The last part is really interesting, as humans we are designed to like challenges and things that seem impossible. Maybe that's why we never give up, our hopes rarely decrease and we try to find a way to make it possible.
But why do we have these kind of feelings on the first place? Because it's a need. It's a fact that human beings need to be and feel loved, it's part of our nature, of who we are. It is something that can not be changed.
But what we can change, is towards who we direct this feeling. Because as feeling loved is a need, it makes it even hard to let go. We shouldn't be wasting our precious time and our precious feelings towards someone who will never appreciate it.
I learned it, maybe I didn't learn it in the worst way. But someone could learn it that way. That's why we should be preventive and don't let our feelings control our bodies. For this apparent love, we could do things that we will regret later.
I'm not saying you shouldn't open your heart to no one, what I'm trying to say is you shouldn't open it easily.
Because the worst part is to try to mend a heart, your heart. The most special thing we possess.
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